EROTICA 2010

feet-up during cappuccino

Those shoes are made for walking... or are they?

Well, if you live in my neck of the woods then they have to, because it needs about three hours to get to  Erotica at the Hammersmith Olympia in London. I can tell you however: It is completely worth it!

And now I know: They have big cloak rooms and decent clean toilets where one can change. I reconsidered my outfit about five times and in the end went for something street worthy, but next time I will dress up into ... something wooohooo!... by changing on location. The more that the Erotica takes place in winter and one just doesn't want to pay with a severe cold for the fun.

The exhibition hall is well heated, there are food courts - which are at the fast food yet pricey end of the spectrum, and there is a seating area in front of the stage which looks sophisticated, but where it is almost impossible to get a place to sit. Well, for us it was a first and hence we had to browse a lot; probably if one would go regularly, one might find an interest in only certain exhibitions and then just grab a seat, meet with friends and enjoy the shows.
Our incentive was to see Dita von Teese on stage and we thought we'd just had a look at the fair as well. In the end it was the other way round. We saw Dita, but it was so crowded that we had to watch from the balcony through a row of heads, so she was merely a small, very glittery thing on a rather big stage. What we could see was however so inspiring that we definitely want to see her again in a proper theatre, with booked seats.

Then there was another show presented several times during  the day, consisting of moderator and singer Dusty Limits, The Amazing Ari, Kitty Bang Bang - erotic dancer and burlesque performer, Zlata - the bendiest woman I have ever seen, Rubber Doll, pole dancer Bubbalicious, the Libidex catwalk show, and  Stripped a dance number of the special kind which comes with two websites, even.

Please expect a little bit of nudity!

Additionally there was a feature stage - which unfortunately I didn't know about, and wouldn't have had the time for anyway - where The Dream Boys were performing. Oh my... be prepared to see nudity! Although for the guests at least, nude appearance was not allowed, there was a body painter, and body cast artists... well, one has to strip for that, doesn't one? On stage one of the guys lost his pants and some girls their bras. Additionally a lot of tassels were on show, which apparently are attached with double sided tape as I could learn at one of the stands. There were clip-on buttons as well, but I couldn't really warm to that idea.

Please expect now nudity at all!

Officially it was not allowed to take photos, but there was a promo-wall like you would find at those celeb style events, and of course I had to take advantage of that. Additionally there were a few show occasions for which taking a snap was even encouraged, so I can at least give you a bit of a visual insight.

Please expect the most gorgeous fetish kinda costume...

 

... presented by the most stunning woman!

Regarding the stalls: Oh my goodness, there were so many! I only will concentrate on the ones which jumped into my eyes, even if that brings me into danger of appearing rather simpleminded, or old, for that matter. Of course there were the more health oriented ones, selling all sorts of concoctions, and vibrating devices, and for some of the things I wasn't even able to think of a non-health related use - so, I don't know why they were there. Then there were the usual pleasuring devices ranging from the small ones for home use up to swings and beds probably for the more professionally minded, or for people with big houses, for sure. The fetish stuff was all over the place and one could find something for everything, and I mean everything!

And that is something that I just loved there: Absolutely nothing was awkward, absolutely everything was normal!

Like Bountiful Bosoms. How often do you get to feel fake silicone boobs? See, I wouldn't have entered a shop, asking if I could fumble them a bit! Here we event went back for more - those things are fascinatingly fantastic. Firstly, those babies feel absolutely real. Secondly, they feel warm. Thirdly, they have the exact right softness. Compared to the gel cushion in my  push-up bra they feel really nice. Well, having established that, one might start asking: But why? See, I am a rather flat chested gal and I quite like that look, but even I own a push-up. Before I would consider a boob-job, I'd rather get me a pair of those, and if it were to figure out if a D size would be for me, before I get it for good. And then there are people who don't have a pair anymore and need a prosthetic, whereas there are others who never had a pair and feel that they actually should have. And I can tell you: That was a really nice cleavage on display! The sweetheart might want to have a look into the hairdo, though. A bit of smart layering to add more volume to the top of the head might improve the whole look. That is true for the both of us, actually! I could have used the opportunity to get a makeover at David Beckham's hairdresser, but scared hair frump I am, I didn't go.

And then my darlings: There were the shoes, the jewellery and the corsets!

Shoes I only admired as Ipswich is just not offering a lot of party life that I would enjoy to make those worthwhile. Jewellery is a completely different matter, though. I got me the most gorgeous piece of bracelet I ever had, and which I always wanted to have. It is from JCG a designer located at Barcelona, and the idea to have something that one doesn't find in the next corner shop makes it even more appealing. I just put it on to take the photo, and I can tell you: This is one sexy piece of crafted silver. It feels gorgeous!

Then I got me a proper top hat from Freak Clubware, something I have been searching London for since quite a while now, and... yep, you might not have seen that one coming... a corset! Again! Oh I just can't resist corsets. It seems that the place to be for design and fashion is Barcelona. Bibian Blue has the most stunning creations and they even had a fitting room. The place was so busy that I had to wait for about half an hour to get in, but was that worth it! I could see all those wonderful corsets which I never would be able to fill, tried on by ladies who could. And it was a delight to chat with the excited husbands, helping to decide which one to choose.

There was a freak moment, though, when I realised that their credit card machine didn't work, but fortunately the Olympia has a cash machine in the foyer. Phew! I felt warm anyway, but that was the moment to break into sweat. All I have for now is the picture I took with the mobile to show Detlef, as he was strolling around to find some food to go while I was waiting for my turn.

I herewith promise to give you a proper show of all my purchases - those here and all the other ones, like from the last two trips to Germany which I haven't confessed to you yet.

This now concludes my report from the Erotica 2010. I had the best of times and can't wait for next year to go again. I am however expecting a lot of following up to happen. Together with the obligatory conference style bag we not only got the conference guide but the Burlesque Map London as well. Who knows what's next?

Until then, always yours,








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